Saturday, April 17, 2010

Focus Story Structure: Football Injury

When teenage boys join the football team, they don't typically think about the severe risks involved, until it's too late. Unfortunately, that was the case for 16-year-old Pete Stenhoff.

Stenhoff, a junior and football player at Child Visa High School in Redmond, California, cracked his vertebrae while slamming into the ball carrier's chest. He is not confined to a wheelchair.

Considering his injuries, Stenhoff is not bitter. "I knew the risks involved when I decided to play football," he says, and adds, "I wish I would have known just how bad it could be."

Each year, there are 20,000 injuries in high school football; Twelve percent of them permanently disable the victims, a thirty-five percent of the injuries are to the neck and head. Most critics blame the helmet.

1 comment:

  1. You start off with a general overview type of lead, then refer to Stenhoff. To make this work as a focus story, start with Stenhoff, not with a preamble.

    * delete "unfortunately" (commentary, not news)
    * Redmond, Calif.,
    * He is now confined ... (but check AP Style on disabilities -- it'll tell you not to say it this way)
    * 12 percent, 35 percent

    15/20

    ReplyDelete