My FOG Index [Revised]

Based on this example of my writing:

This story is just one of many relating to the dangerous drug cartel in Mexico. What makes this story particularly frightening is the innocent victims in this case. Most of the people killed were around my age. To a certain degree, any one of these innocent victims could have been friends of mine or even myself. These innocent people were either harmed or killed while going to a party. It is almost normal for many college students to go to house parties. It's very concerning to think of the possibilities. It is also scary to imagine the lack of shame and humanity these gang members have. I also have deep concern for Americans who wish to travel to boardertowns for spring break, and the dangers they could potentially face. I wish for more immediate action on Mexican Government, as well as the United States and the United Nations. I view this issue a very serious one and one that cannot be ignored any longer.

My resulting FOG Index is 10.8.

According to the text, the appropriate score should be 7 or 8. Having a score of almost 11 lets me know that me writing should be simpler, as far as the words T use and the length of my sentences. However, I find it difficult to write such simple sentences; its as if I am not making my writing sophisticated enough.