A Pacific Gas and Electric Company in San Francisco yesterday severed a two-inch gas pipe with a backhoe, closing down a four-black area near Folsom and 11th Street.
The incident forced residents and business owners to evacuate from 12:30 p.m. to 5:09 p.m. Since Folsom and 11th Street are heavily thoroughfares, traffic was at a standstill.
Approximately 100 evacuees stood around the edges of the police perimeter, and most people felt irate.
“Ask my customers. They were pretty irate,” explained Carlann Lauria, the manager of the self-storage company Crocker’s Locker. Lauria and her customers stood outside the perimeter as she collected payment checks.
The Manager of the Wa-H-a-Ka restaurant, Samantha Feldman, also adds that her business suffered from the evacuation. According to Feldman, lost about $500 worth of business from the shutdown.
You're on the right track with this lead, but to get it right you need to think about what makes this story newsworthy: the news values of impact, proximity, and currency.
ReplyDeleteA severed gas line is not necessarily news, but a severed gas line that shuts down a four-block area, snarls traffic and forces the evacuation of about 100 people ... well, that's news. And that's how you need to start your lead. You can explain how this accident happened in the next paragraph.
You don't need to say "most people felt irate." Let Carlann Lauria say that in her quote.
Proofread!
* Folsom and 11th streets
* heavily traveled thoroughfares
* The manager of Wa-Ha-Ka (not Wa-H-a-Ka)
* According to Feldman, she lost about ...
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