Lead #2: A U.S. flight crashed yesterday killing 131 people on board just outside Pittsburgh, making it the worst air disaster in the U.S. in three years.
It's already happened, so make your lead past tense (save present tense for broadcast leads). The plane crashed just outside Pittsburgh, not while leaving Chicago. It's hard to tell which from your lead. Make it one sentence ... and don't editorialize ("tragic").
It's already happened, so make your lead past tense (save present tense for broadcast leads). The plane crashed just outside Pittsburgh, not while leaving Chicago. It's hard to tell which from your lead. Make it one sentence ... and don't editorialize ("tragic").
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ReplyDeleteBetter. 7+1.5=8.5/10
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